The International Order of the Rainbow for Girls held their convention in Grand Rapids, MI this year and I was honored to be one of the guest speakers. The girls even hosted a Breakfast at Tiffany's-theme lunch - complete with a string of pearls for each girl! It truly was an international event - girls flew in from Romania, Brazil, everywhere! While it's typically a very colorful organization, they made an exception for their Breakfast at Tiffany's lunch and everyone wore their best black and white ensemble :) Thank you so much for having me, IORG!

Posted on 29. October 2012 21:24 by Jordan Christy |

So, turns out the Great Salt Lake really is pretty great.

I recently returned from a trip to Logan, Utah to visit with the USU campus, and it was awesome! Having never been to Salt Lake City before, I was shocked and delighted to discover how huge that lake is. I thought we were flying straight into the ocean upon landing. But we weren't. It was The Lake.

But the best part, by far, was the visit to USU - what an awesome campus and community. I don't always get to post pics from trips but I snagged a couple this time so I thought I'd share. Thanks again, USU + KD!

* my very own welcoming committee!

* some lovely and gracious tour guides - Heidi, Sloan, and Marie showed me the sights of downtown Salt Lake and took me to lunch at an awesome restaurant overlooking the temple.

* KD represent!

Posted on 23. March 2012 09:42 by Jordan Christy |

How to Be a Hepburn will soon be translated in the Romanian language and making its way to their neck of the woods - hooray!

Posted on 24. February 2012 14:58 by Jordan Christy |

We recently returned from a two-week vacation and, in that time, it appears as though the Animal Kingdom got together and discussed our absence. Apparently it looked as though we were never coming back so they came to the conclusion to simply move in.

Well, we did come back. And not two days after we returned, I saw him. The creepiest, slimiest, last possible thing you want to see in your house. A lizard. I was walking through the kitchen, en route to unpack some more things, when I suddenly saw a streak of scaly hunter green dart past my foot. Of course it gave me the heebity-jeebities and I jumped up on the nearest kitchen chair, just in time to see the ugly thing dart under our dishwasher. Ugh! Of all places! The one appliance I couldn't maneuver out myself. Why couldn't he have scurried up behind the microwave? Or better yet, the coffee maker? Then I could have tossed him right out along with the grounds. But, no, he chose the dishwasher.

Knowing that my husband was not going to be home for another 4 hours or so, I did the only thing I could think to do. I barricaded him in. Grabbing random boxes, cookbooks, newspapers, and magazines, I proceeded to build a wall of sorts around the dishwasher. Of course I took care to stuff paper towels in any remaining holes, and by the end of it, I thought I had a pretty fine fortress assembled. There was no way he could slither past that construction. Feeling confident in my work, I went back to unpacking and waited for Drew to get home.

Later on, the minute Drew walked in the door, I grabbed his hand and shoved him towards the dishwasher. I proudly showed off my impromptu structure and informed him that he simply needed to pull out the dishwasher and retrieve the waiting salamander. He seemed skeptical of my work and even felt the need to point out several spots I'd failed to cover. No matter, I knew that even if the repulsive reptile made it past the stack of Kleenex boxes, he surely wouldn't have been able to scale the Blue Ribbon cookbook collection.

I was wrong.

Drew pulled out the dishwasher and loudly announced that the space under the counter was officially empty. After shining a flashlight under all the cracks and crevices, he informed me that my plan had failed and there was, in fact, a lizard now running loose in our house.

I became crazed. Insane. Constantly shining a flashlight around before we entered a room, lifting up blankets to reveal possible hiding spots, requiring every family member to tiptoe around and wear thick-soled boots. I even prayed: "God, please help me find this lizard. And let me find him in such a way that I don't have to actually touch him when I throw him out."

Well 3 days went by and i was beginning to lose hope. Was he hiding in a cupboard? Our DVD cabinet? The shower? Our bed??? Where was the lizard?!? Just when I was about to give up, I laid down for a nap with my kids one day after lunch and in the peaceful quiet of the afternoon, I heard it. A slinky, slithery, rustling noise. My mind immediately sprang into lizard-defense mode and I scrambled out of bed to search out the noisy culprit.

i finally determined his location: Drew's still-unpacked duffle bag. i couldn't see the dirty chameleon but I could hear what I knew was lizard feet scratching all over the traditional duffle nylon. He was scurrying around in there, no doubt sliming up every last pair of socks and underwear Drew had left in the bag. Unsure of how to go about the tricky maneuver, I eventually decided on the bag's handles as my getaway vehicle. Tiptoeing up to the bag, I gingerly reached over and plucked the handles up and away from the bag. At the same time, I positioned myself to be able to make a quick break for it, out the door. On a silent count of three, I lifted the bag up lickety split and made a manical dash for the door. I was running break-neck speed by the time I hit the front door and swiftly unlatched the door and continued the crazed eviction. With one large heave-ho, I flung the bag out the door and into the yard, hoping that he was still indeed in the bag and not straggling behind me in the house somewhere.

Fearful that he might not like his former outdoor home, i quickly slammed the door behind me - locking it too, just in case he was a dexterous lizard who knew how to pick locks. I kept an eye on the bag from behind our kitchen curtains, just to see if he'd show himself. He didn't. But I knew he was there.

Drew returned home later, slightly confused at the placement of his duffle bag in the back yard, but knowing my ways, correctly guessed the development that had taken place and simply motioned to the door and said, "Looks like you must have found the lizard."

Yes! i did find the lizard! Oh, happy day! That blue-tailed skink won't be bothering my family again, as long as I have something to say about it. And i told the scaly creature to go tell his friends and cousins that anybody else who tries to move in will eventually find themselves sailing through the air in a backpack as well, headed right back for the great outdoors. Where they belong.

Posted on 11. November 2011 02:59 by Jordan Christy |

I feel like all my stories start with "So my sister and I were at...." Well this one's going to start the same way, I'm sorry to say.

So my sister and I were recently in California - Anaheim to be exact. We were really busy working the whole time but were bound and determined to get out and make a night of it on my birthday. My sweet sister made advance reservations at Beso in LA (Eva Longoria's restaurant) and so we planned our evening accordingly so we could make it up to LA on time for our 9:00pm reservation. 

6:00  Feeling pretty good. Just finished my big evening event and all we have left to do is man the book table, pack up our stuff, get dressed, drive to LA. No problem.

7:00  How long should we wait before we start packing up? What's the latest we can stay without being late? Did you mapquest the time to LA? 

8:00  Okay we have to start packing up the table. 

8:40  This is taking longer than we thought. 

8:47  Can you call the restaurant and ask if we can make the reservation any later?!

8:49  Yes! They can move our reservation to 10:00!

9:30  Sweet. Finally dressed, finally ready. We can make it up to LA in 30 minutes, right?

9:59  Darn you hotel elevators!!! Can you call the restaurant again???

10:01 Yes! They are open until 11:00 and we can come in anytime before then! We're good.

10:20  See, I told you this LA traffic wouldn't be a problem. We'll totally make it there by 11.

10:40  Shoot, I can't see anything but brake lights up ahead. 

10:47  Now we're completely stopped on the interstate.

10:49  Can you see the exit?? How far away are we?!

10:52  What?!? We still have 7 miles to go!?

10:53  Okay now traffic's moving again. We can totally make it.

10:54  Dang it. We're stopped again.

10:57  Okay let's call the restaurant again. 

10:58  What? They don't think we're going to make it?! I can hear the hosts and busboys standing around cackling about the two girls from Nashville stuck on the interstate.

11:01  I can't believe we didn't make it.

11:07  We haven't moved an inch in 15 minutes.

11:24  There it is. Beso. Closed. Look at all the happy, full customers outside. 

11:27  Where's the nearest In 'N Out Burger? 4 miles from here? We can find it without a map, right?

11:48  I think we're lost.

12:33  I'm really hungry. 

12:48  There are 9 majillion In 'N Out Burgers in LA, why can't we find just one of them!?!

1:10  Finally! Two combo meals please! Could you also give us directions back to Anaheim? 

Suffice to say our big birthday bash at Beso turned out to be an ill-conceived midnight run to In 'N Out burger. But we'll make it next time, Eva, don't worry. We ended up dragging ourselves back to our hotel in Anaheim around 3am. And as far as California girls go, I'll tell you what Katy Perry - our skin didn't melt nobody's popscicle, but we definitely needed a cucumber mask after that ordeal. 

Posted on 16. September 2011 11:55 by Jordan Christy |

I recently returned from a fun trip to one of my favorite cities - my sister came with me, and despite the rain and muck, we made the most of it...and of course found our way to Newbury Street to do some serious shopping. Now, the story that I'm about to recount is not embellished, fabricated, or in any way altered, lest you start to think that I exaggerate my klutziness. These are just raw facts, people. 

Anyway, like I was saying, we found our way to Newbury St. - umbrellas in hand and credit cards in tow. After scoping out some of the usual stops (H&M, Benneton, Zara), I spotted a new favorite of mine, Reiss. Now, let me start by saying that Reiss is definitely a more high-end store. It's based in the U.K. and has won lots of awards for their high-quality stuff, so the place itself is obviously a nicer shop. We're talking hardwood floors, soft music, and a grand staircase inside. So, Abby and I made our way in out of the rain to browse the spring collection. 

With no one in there but ourselves and the saleswoman, she began to make polite conversation about who we were and where we were from. Finally, after finding several dresses that I loved, we started to make our way towards the front of the store, still just us three in the deathly quiet little shop. That's when things got ugly.

Not remembering that there was a mini-staircase in the middle of the shop, I continued walking towards the door, my head held high focusing on the shimmering high-end merchandise around me, not to mention the weighty plastic shopping bags in my arm. Abby followed steadily behind me, still engaged in polite conversation with the boutique's clerk. I strode confidently towards the door and only stopped to look down once where my feet where going. As luck would have it, I looked down at the exact moment I became aware of the staircase beneath me. 

THUNK-THUNK!

I saw my feet miss the steps completely, and instead, land loudly at the very bottom of the glossy wooden stairs. The rain from the streets on my sandals only compounded the situation, creating a squeaky slip-n-slide effect on the slick, short steps. Unsure of what to do next, I attempted to pick myself up and act as though I meant to do that. The saleswoman was clearly unimpressed at my embarrassing retail faux pax, giving me a look that said please don't come back. As I exited the store and struggled to regain my composure, my sister showed little remorse and instead busted out laughing at my unfortunate blunder. 

Despite my idiot tendencies, the Northeastern chapter of KD welcomed me with open arms later in the day and we had a lovely event at the quaint urban college that evening. All that to say, Boston, I understand if you don't want me back. Like Augustana says, it's a good thing no one there knows my name. 

Posted on 3. May 2011 10:00 by Jordan Christy |